BEING IRAQI
1. when surrounded by other Arab nationalities and you speak Iraqi, no one knows what the hell youre saying.
2. When talking to Egyptians, your Iraqi accent turns Egyptian. When talking to Lebanese, your accent turns Lebanese...etc.
3. If youre a guy, all the iraqi women already have their eye on you and want you for their daughter.
4. If you're a girl, all the iraqi women think their sons are too good for you.
5. When Iraqi women get together, they all compete in 'Who's got the loudest voice?'
6. Every Iraqi family is dysfunctional in one way or another.
7. Every Iraqi has a bit of Im3aydee in them.
8. Iraqis have an exclusive swearing vocabulary ranging from 'Incheb-ee', 'Islayma', 'sarsaree', 'thowla', 'booma', 'ghabra', 'khaburni','6a7 subghek' etc.
9. There is no such thing as elegant eating in an Iraqi Household.
10. Everyone has at least one Ali in their immediate family.
11. If lunch doesn't include rice, it's not considered a meal.
12. Kathem al Saher is the standard for handsome amongst Iraqis.
13. When Iraqi guys pick up girls , their approach is maybe a bit too aggressive:
"Hay shlown jamal ya bint al kalb"
"Lich hay wen ray7ah, ta3alee ihna, khel ashufich"
"Shinoo hal kekah, Jawa3teenee"
"Akhrab wa Atkahrab"
14.Being romantic is foreign to Iraqis, When they try to be, its so unsuitable that the ladies prefer the true Iraqi way better.
15. Every Iraqi knows every family in the entire nation of Iraq, and somehow you always know a specific story about them.
16. Every Iraqi you meet was a neighbour or is a neighbour back home.
17. When Iraqis dance to 3adel 3ogla or Hatem al 3raqi, Everyone returns to their Im3aydee roots, Everyone goes wild , and all the other non-Iraqis get scared.
18. Saying the word 'Baghdad' makes Iraqis cry hysterically.
19.During a wedding, all the young single people are checking eachother out.
20. You've been beaten to death by a Na3al at least once in your life.
22. Sarcasm is part of Iraqi DNA, You never know whether the joke is a joke or not!
23. To be Iraqi you must drink chai (tea) five times a day.
24. Everyone owns a leather Jacket, Big Shoulder pads a thick belt and thermal underwear for the winter and summer, if you own these then you are so keshkha around iraqis (in other words, u look buff)!
25. You have Guests over for breakfast, lunch, dinner and after midnight.
26. When iraqi women get angry, this is a small example of what they might say: " yyyuuummmmaaaa, ta3ali shufi shlon sayra, abu ali 6aligni hisa, hissa tara amezig ihdumi..(whilst acting it out). and then they start crying...when that happens you know its not going to stop
27. Everything is 3eib ..'3eib baba 3eib mayseer hichi' and i mean everything and theres no point wondering why because the answer will always be, 'because its 3eib!
28.Infront of their husbands, iraqi wifes always have a kafshe...(its attractive among iraqis) and when they're really in a romantic mood they'll put on bright RED lipstick and a red dishdasha to go with it , not forgetting that their hair is always abnormally blonde.
29. And every iraqi mum and dad were the cleverest in their generation, they all got 110 out of 100, and always came first out of their class.
30.Being the eldest child in the family means that you'll always be called a be3eera (camel) even if u reach ur fifties
31.This is what happens when a dog approaches iraqis....the mother will scream and run, making the dog run after her, the children will be holding the mums mantoo while shes running and the dad will try to act brave and shout at the dog saying 'pishsh pishsh..go go' ( in an iraqi accent ofcourse). And then the dad will spend the whole day telling his family how he managed to shout at the dog and how the dog ran away as soon as he saw him, making himself sound like hercules.
32. And not forgetting that if you make a mistake, it will NEVER be forgotten , it'll be passed on through the generations, written in the books of history and they will remind you of it on your wedding day infront your wife , and when they'll be walking behind your coffin in your funeral.
But all in all.....WE RULE!!!
1. when surrounded by other Arab nationalities and you speak Iraqi, no one knows what the hell youre saying.
2. When talking to Egyptians, your Iraqi accent turns Egyptian. When talking to Lebanese, your accent turns Lebanese...etc.
3. If youre a guy, all the iraqi women already have their eye on you and want you for their daughter.
4. If you're a girl, all the iraqi women think their sons are too good for you.
5. When Iraqi women get together, they all compete in 'Who's got the loudest voice?'
6. Every Iraqi family is dysfunctional in one way or another.
7. Every Iraqi has a bit of Im3aydee in them.
8. Iraqis have an exclusive swearing vocabulary ranging from 'Incheb-ee', 'Islayma', 'sarsaree', 'thowla', 'booma', 'ghabra', 'khaburni','6a7 subghek' etc.
9. There is no such thing as elegant eating in an Iraqi Household.
10. Everyone has at least one Ali in their immediate family.
11. If lunch doesn't include rice, it's not considered a meal.
12. Kathem al Saher is the standard for handsome amongst Iraqis.
13. When Iraqi guys pick up girls , their approach is maybe a bit too aggressive:
"Hay shlown jamal ya bint al kalb"
"Lich hay wen ray7ah, ta3alee ihna, khel ashufich"
"Shinoo hal kekah, Jawa3teenee"
"Akhrab wa Atkahrab"
14.Being romantic is foreign to Iraqis, When they try to be, its so unsuitable that the ladies prefer the true Iraqi way better.
15. Every Iraqi knows every family in the entire nation of Iraq, and somehow you always know a specific story about them.
16. Every Iraqi you meet was a neighbour or is a neighbour back home.
17. When Iraqis dance to 3adel 3ogla or Hatem al 3raqi, Everyone returns to their Im3aydee roots, Everyone goes wild , and all the other non-Iraqis get scared.
18. Saying the word 'Baghdad' makes Iraqis cry hysterically.
19.During a wedding, all the young single people are checking eachother out.
20. You've been beaten to death by a Na3al at least once in your life.
22. Sarcasm is part of Iraqi DNA, You never know whether the joke is a joke or not!
23. To be Iraqi you must drink chai (tea) five times a day.
24. Everyone owns a leather Jacket, Big Shoulder pads a thick belt and thermal underwear for the winter and summer, if you own these then you are so keshkha around iraqis (in other words, u look buff)!
25. You have Guests over for breakfast, lunch, dinner and after midnight.
26. When iraqi women get angry, this is a small example of what they might say: " yyyuuummmmaaaa, ta3ali shufi shlon sayra, abu ali 6aligni hisa, hissa tara amezig ihdumi..(whilst acting it out). and then they start crying...when that happens you know its not going to stop
27. Everything is 3eib ..'3eib baba 3eib mayseer hichi' and i mean everything and theres no point wondering why because the answer will always be, 'because its 3eib!
28.Infront of their husbands, iraqi wifes always have a kafshe...(its attractive among iraqis) and when they're really in a romantic mood they'll put on bright RED lipstick and a red dishdasha to go with it , not forgetting that their hair is always abnormally blonde.
29. And every iraqi mum and dad were the cleverest in their generation, they all got 110 out of 100, and always came first out of their class.
30.Being the eldest child in the family means that you'll always be called a be3eera (camel) even if u reach ur fifties
31.This is what happens when a dog approaches iraqis....the mother will scream and run, making the dog run after her, the children will be holding the mums mantoo while shes running and the dad will try to act brave and shout at the dog saying 'pishsh pishsh..go go' ( in an iraqi accent ofcourse). And then the dad will spend the whole day telling his family how he managed to shout at the dog and how the dog ran away as soon as he saw him, making himself sound like hercules.
32. And not forgetting that if you make a mistake, it will NEVER be forgotten , it'll be passed on through the generations, written in the books of history and they will remind you of it on your wedding day infront your wife , and when they'll be walking behind your coffin in your funeral.
But all in all.....WE RULE!!!